Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Angry with God

Have you ever been angry with God? Did you feel that He had let you down? Maybe you even questioned whether He cared for you at all. You may have theorized God was too busy handling more significant matters that pressed Him and didn't have time to answer your prayer.

When trying to trudge through the adoption entanglement, I didn't understand why God wouldn't just take over and amend the confusing situation. My mind contemplated all that God could do in His omniscience. He could bring my daughter out of Vietnam. He could give her a home rather than leave her in an orphanage under the auspices of Immigration police who were after bribes, not the welfare of my child. If, as we are taught, God is all powerful, why would He not bring a child into a loving home rather than allow corruption to keep her from knowing our love?  I knew of other parents who were experiencing similar dilemmas. They wanted desperately to love a child, yet for some reason, the child was trapped by bureaucratic regulations that confined rather than served the interests of loving parents and hurting children. 

I now experience a comparable frustration as I watch one of my children suffer. Gabriel, 17, was an elite soccer player who was injured last fall during a game. The orthopedist convinced my son that an ACL repair would enable him to play soccer again this fall. Yet, the repair did not go well, and my son doesn't understand why God didn't heal him when it is in His power to do so. I, as Gabe's mother, am angry with God. You, O God, are capable of performing a miracle and healing my son. Why don't you do so?

I wonder what Christ felt as He hung on the cross and endured excruciating pain while His Father allowed Him to experience this horrible suffering. Christ, in fact, was honest with His Father: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?," Jesus said (Mt 27:46). Christ was uttering a psalm of David in which David also cried to God, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help?" (Psalm 22:1).

Jeremiah was also frank with God when he expressed his anger, "O Lord, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughing stock all the day; everyone mocks me" (Jeremiah 20:7).

In another psalm, David expresses the insight he had gained through a painful experience: "Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." God may not heal us in the way we had expected. He may not heal Gabriel so that he can play soccer again. He also may not handle your circumstances in the way you wish, but He can heal you, nevertheless. He can use your situation for His glory and to bring you closer in relationship to Him.

Dear God, Help me in my anger to come to You and open my heart to You. I pray that You will heal my hurt and take away my anger. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

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